How to make sure your dog is popular and well-liked this summer

Now that the weather is finally getting nicer, you might be looking forward to getting your dog together with the dogs of your friends for walks, play dates, drinking games, hot air baloon rides... whatever, I don't know your life.

What I DO know is this video shows you the best way to introduce new dogs to each other. Please note that it isn't "friendly" to just let your dog run into another dog's personal space. It's rude and the quickest way to screw up a what could've been a good canine friendship.

Growing Up Gomez: Season Finale

Gomez with his teacher Sarah at Fido Personal Dog Training

At the beginning of January I started writing a column for the web site Your Pit Bull and You called 'Growing Up Gomez.' It just wrapped up with the last "episode" of the season, and you can find all of them here. Essentially, it's a column that highlights the stress that comes with adopting an adult dog — a subject that, from what I could tell after frantic Google searches and book references, seems to get glossed over in the whole, "adopt and save a life!" cheerleading of rescue and shelter proponents. I am a staunch supporter of adoption, but new adopters (most being people with far less dog experience than I have) need more support and encouragement through the initial year of adoption, especially during the first few months. These can be trying times, but what you find once you get over those bumps is priceless: a great, long-lasting relationship with your new dog.

I'm still kind of amazed I was offered the opportunity to write for the site. I stumbled onto YPBY's Facebook page one day and was immediately a fan. Excellent writing, force-free training advocacy and pit bulls? Yes, please! I wrote to them after coming up empty handed in the "light at the end of the tunnel" department and asked if they'd ever considered doing a column that dealt with "rags to riches" training stories. I did my best to word my initial email in a a way that didn't sound like, "Help! I just adopted my second dog and I think I might've ruined my life!" And I suppose I succeeded since the site's main lady, Lori Nanan, sent me the following response: 

Hey Laura!

I LOVE this idea....and I'm gonna toss it back to you. ;-)

Would you be interested in documenting your journey in a bit more detail- the highs, the lows, the ah-ha moments, the "I'm toast" moments?

Doesn't have to be exhaustive, but we could put together a post with your story. I have NO doubt, that like you say, it will encourage others to step forward and admit to their "been there, done that" moments.

Include some pics of him and your lovely family and I think it could be pretty awesome. People love pictures, which you no doubt have noticed!

Let me know your thoughts and Thanks so much! - Lori

My first thought was, "Did this lady, who doesn't know me at all, just offer me a chance to write for her website in response to a cold email? Who does that?" After all, how does this woman know I'm not crazy? A terrible writer? A jerk and a moron? My second thought was, "I immediately like this person because she used the expression 'I'm toast.'" I'm so thankful Lori took a chance on me. She's an incredible trainer, advocate and person and I'm fortunate to know her. 

I enjoyed writing these posts tremendously, not only because I forced myself out of my comfort zone as a writer, but because of the truly positive, thoughtful and just goddamn nice feedback people have given me. Not to mention the fact that the force free training community is full of amazing, intelligent people who are training dogs without pinch collars, "corrections," intimidation, choke chains, outdated pack theory bullshit or pain. For more about force-free training and how you don't need a "heavy hand" to train, check out this article that Lori wrote. Seriously. Read it.

So thank you to everybody who read the column, and if you know somebody who's recently adopted their own 70lb friendly caveman, please send them the way of Your Pit Bull and You! Not just to read 'Growing Up Gomez,' but because it's a tremendous resource no matter what type of dog you have. 

Nobody has to be alone on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is tomorrow which means some people will inevitably feel sad or alone or both. But honestly? Nobody has to feel that way on Valentine's Day. How do you quell the heartache? Adopt a dog. Seriously. You've been talking about it for years now, right? And you keep finding reasons to put it off. But if you're really looking for unconditional love and a strong bond, there's really nothing better than adopting a dog. Have you always wanted to be somebody's "one and only?" Go to any shelter and you'll find countless dogs who are running out of time. You are, quite literally, their only hope. "But dogs are a lot of work," you say. Yup. What good relationship isn't? In this case, the hard work is a bonus because you'll be so busy acclimating your new dog, that you won't piss away the day feebly scrolling through Tumblr posts and feeling useless. Your new dog needs you! You've got shit to do. And to clean up! A lot of rescue groups and shelters have specials and adoption events this weekend. Home Furever is just one of them. Look how cute:

Now stop feeling sad and lonely and go save a life! You'll automatically be the hero in a love story.

Oh. And if you're a dog person who is looking for something to read to occupy yet another goddamn snow day, my column on the site Your Pit Bull and You will totally do the trick. 'Growing Up Gomez' is about my experiences adopting an energetic pit bull. I am so thrilled that the folks at the site let me share my embarrassing experiences and occasional successes. The feedback I've been getting from my dog nerd fan base has been resoundingly positive. I'd love to hear what you think as well. 

Landfill Dogs deserve love too

Quinn is waiting for a home after 592 days in the shelter

I try not to dwell on the pure horror show that is our society's throw-away attitude toward dogs. The municipal disposal of unwanted animals happens, for the most part, out of public eye in unassuming buildings with little in the way of signage. We may as well call these places, "We Don't Want to Know." Most people don't know the first thing about the animal control policies, facilities and employees of their given city. Though many shelters are open to the public for adoption, too often folks turn to other avenues like breeders, pet stores and "free to a good home" ads because going to a shelter is "too sad." And it is sad. But "avoiding sadness" isn't a good reason to turn your back on these dogs. Or to perpetuate the overbreeding that causes our horrible overpopulation problem. Dogs deserve better lives than this.

Greyson is waiting for a home after 520 days in the shelter

That's why I love the Landfill Dogs photo project so much. Mary Shannon Johnstone's photographs of dogs at the Wake Forest Animal Center in Raleigh, North Carolina force viewers to confront a stark reality. One that certainly isn't going to change just because we as a society refuse to acknowledge it. But she does it in a way that doesn't make us avert our eyes in shame and sadness. These photos are beautiful and captivating. They evoke something these dogs desperately need people to see in them: potential.

From the artist's statement about the Landfill Dogs photo project:

"The landfill site is used for two reasons. First, this is where the dogs will end up if they do not find a home. Their bodies will be buried deep in the landfill among our trash. These photographs offer the last opportunity for the dogs to find homes.

The second reason for the landfill location is because the county animal shelter falls under the same management as the landfill. This government structure reflects a societal value: homeless cats and dogs are just another waste stream. However, this landscape offers a metaphor of hope. It is a place of trash that has been transformed into a place of beauty. I hope the viewer also sees the beauty in these homeless, unloved creatures."

Channa is waiting for a home after 108 days in the shelter

Please visit the site and take a look at these pups experiencing a few hours of pure peace, freedom and joy. Read their stories. For some of these dogs, this photo shoot will be a rare and much needed respite from the noise, cement and cyclone fencing of daily shelter life. Or the last moment of freedom before their time runs out. But for those who've been adopted as a result of this project, these pictures represent the moment somebody really saw them outside of the context of shelter life. Thank you, Mary Shannon Johnstone, for using your amazing talents to help those who can't speak up for themselves. 

TMZ Gomez

I haven't been posting as much here as I've been busy writing a brand new feature for the web site Your Pit Bull and You about our new dog Gomez. It's called 'Growing Up Gomez' and you can read all the posts here! 

These posts are starting to really pick up in popularity, so it's only a matter of time before you see Gomez embroiled in a scandal on TMZ. Just remember: Don't believe everything you hear about celebrities. They're not perfect - they are human beings just like you and me. Except for Gomez. He's a dog. But you get the idea.

Ho, ho, holy sh*t: Here's your Xmas card!

From our house to yours, Happy Holidays to all! Even the people who think their dogs like wearing antlers and getting their picture taken with a weird man sporting a long, fake beard.

This is your Xmas card. Feel free to print it out and place it with the other (boring) ones you've gotten so far. Or place it in a frame if you choose. Nobody would blame you. It's pretty bad ass. Just like Gomez and Asha. Very thankful for these two pups. And for Jamie since she's willing to share in the dog madness with me. Go do something nice for somebody - two legged or four legged - and appreciate your good fortune this season.

Wanna get in shape this winter? Adopt a dog.

Lookin' sharp in his new winter coat.

And not just any dog. But a dog with an energy level high enough that skipping a walk or a play session will result in a thundering tornado of energy running through your house with no regard for what (or who) is in his path. Because nothing is a better "get your ass off the couch" motivator than knowing that your winter laziness could result in a dog head-shaped hole in your drywall.

Although that wasn't our reason for adopting a second dog, I am now keenly aware that Gomez is going to help me keep off that winter hibernation weight. Asha loves to play and go for walks, but she's also a total enabler. If she could talk, I bet we would have had this conversation several times last winter:

Asha: You could take me for a walk or we could play with toys. OR... tonight we could just snuggle and watch a movie film. It's cold outside!
Laura: It is cold outside. You've got a good point. And you like snuggling, so it's not like you're being deprived if we don't brave the winter weather.
Asha: I don't even care that you're getting fatter. It's fine!

Based on his energy level, I am guessing a conversation with Gomez would go more like this:

Gomez: You could take me for a walk or we could play with toys. OR... I could just repeatedly launch my 60 pound dog body across the room onto the couch over and over for the rest of the evening. Or if that won't work for you, I'll knock everything off your nightstand then occupy myself by vigorously chewing up those expensive wrist guards your doctor gave you for your carpal tunnel that you're still paying off. Or I could push the stove around the kitchen floor with my giant noggin for a bit. You might want to disconnect the gas line first, but that's your call. It's cold outside!
Laura: It is cold outside. Um, let me get your leash.
Gomez: Probably a good call.

I don't particularly like to exercise. It's not that I'm lazy, but if I'm going to put that kind of sweat equity into something, I want tangible results. Yes, I know you can make the case all day long that by going to the gym I would get tangible results - more energy, a more toned physique, etc. But if this line of reasoning worked with me I'd have a gym membership already. But I'd do just about anything for my dogs, so being forced to up my physical activity level for the sake of a sweet-but-hyper knucklehead is just the work out push I need.

Of course, Gomez hasn't even been in our house for a month yet, so I know he'll start to settle down a bit and get the hang of things. But even so, his energy level ain't no joke, and if he's going to live peacefully with us, there's no slacking allowed exercise-wise. I've already read the Whole Dog Journal article, "Training a Hyperactive Dog to Calm Down" twice and plan to use it as my go-to source with this guy. Anybody have any interesting suggestions for ways to exercise (physically AND mentally) their high energy dogs in the winter?

Oh, and for those of you who might be in the market for a good dog coat, I highly recommend a Richards Harness Coat. That's what Gomez is modeling in the picture above. I bought one for Asha last winter and was really pleased with it. These coats are easy to put on, have no "sleeves" which always create a hassle and they're a perfect length so leg lifting boys won't pee on 'em. As an added bonus, they're designed with a built in harness for easy walking. Just put on the coat, clip on the leash and go. They sell them at Community Pet Supplies in Royal Oak and will gladly fit your pup for a coat, so stop in and see them!

Introducing: Gomez!

"Hey, I'm Gomez. I'm a little rough around the edges, but I'm a nice guy."

The wait is finally over: Gomez is home!

Why did we choose Gomez? That's a tough one, but boils down to the fact Jamie turns out to have a soft spot for gruff n' tender boys with scars on their faces. Essentially Jamie likes dogs that, if they were people, would be banged up, banjo-touting former punk rockers who now sing about how much they've learned from all the shit they've been through. Guys who say things to their fans in between songs like, "Take care of each other. That's your fucking purpose, man. That's motherfuckin' punk rock!" I'm in no way implying that I wasn't beguiled by his block headed charms, but it was Jamie who honed in on his Petfinder listing immediately.

Talking to his foster mom Stacey for the first time, I was keenly aware that this was a pit bull competent person who was very much going to make sure that Gomez didn't just go to "any home," but the right home. She herself had pulled him from the Taylor shelter a year ago. He was severely underweight and had advance stage heart worm disease. She's invested an awful lot into rehabilitating this guy, and it's clear she and her kids really love him. And her kids are two of the kindest, most dog savvy youngsters I've ever met. Both of them are full-blown, knowledgeable pit bull advocates. If only more kids grew up with such a sense of purpose and compassion!

And then there were two.

When we decided we'd take the plunge into dual dog ownership, our biggest consideration was, of course, Asha. It was imperative that any new dog would have to pass her scrutiny. She's come a long way, but she's still very selective with other dogs. On top of that, it's highly unlikely she had any real early socialization, so her canine social skills are subsequently a bit clunky. From our socialization efforts, we've gleamed valuable information about what Asha would put in her profile should she ever find herself on Canine Cupid. It would go something like this:

"Hi i'm Asha and I like to have friends but not friends that are too excited all the time! That scares me and i want to be the one that is excited so you have to be calm and let me make my moves! can you handle my moves and not get freaked out by my enthusiasm? ok we are friends let's play super hard right away forever!"

Not surprisingly, Asha's insistence on skipping the canine small talk and going right to play time can be too overwhelming for some dogs.* This is particularly true for the types of dogs she usually finds herself making social advances toward - calm, sweet dogs. So we needed somebody relatively calm and sweet, but also resilient enough to forgive Asha her transgressions and put up with her missteps without developing a complex.

When Gomez and Asha met for the first time, it was outside a PetSmart at an adoption event. It was quickly clear that she approved of him, because she immediately started doing enthusiastic play bows and spinning in the occasional circle. These "circle spins" are her go-to "show off" move. After taking our time with the initial intro (no nose-to-nose until they were both over that initial "AHHH! WHO IS THAT DOG??! LET'S MEET!!" excitement), we let them sniff each other and watched how they reacted closer together. Asha was still being a little pushy, but Gomez didn't seem to mind at all. Eventually we went into the store, and the two of them just calmly interacted and stood/laid near each other without incident. It just felt right. 

The deal was totally sealed the next weekend when Gomez came to our house the first time. While Asha was being sweet but a little spastic, Gomez responded by licking the side of her face and her ear. These signs of acceptance, affection and appeasement seemed to say, "There, there, little mama. Let's me and you take care of each other. That's our fucking purpose, man."

And that is pretty motherfuckin' punk rock.

*To clarify Asha's boorish behavior: We are by no means letting her run roughshod over other pups like a bully. We are not the people who stand with their arms crossed at the dog park grinning as their dog runs full speed at the other dogs, knocking into them with all his might, gleeful at the havoc he's creating. In fact, we'd never dream of taking Asha to a dog park at this point. We've worked really hard to up her social skills and decided that adopting a second dog, particularly a very dog-friendly, tolerant one, would be a huge benefit to Asha's continued social growth. Her play and interactions with Gomez will be treated as learning opportunities and will have appropriate boundaries and supervision. Ok? Ok!

One Year Later: Asha's wonderful (but not mysterious) transformation from sweet-but-timid to sweet-and-confident pup

“Not that I didn’t love Asha pretty much as soon as we got her, but she’s even more lovable now for some reason.”

My girlfriend said this as we were discussing the past year with Asha. Yup. It’s been a year since we let this little pit bull mix into our lives. That sweet-but-timid (roughly) two year old pup is now a sweet-and-confident (roughly) three year old pup. But this transition from timid to confident didn’t just happen with the passing of time. We worked diligently to teach Asha what was expected of her and what she could expect from us, and as she became more comfortable with both of those things, she started to fulfill her pup potential at an alarming rate.

Teaching Asha what was expected of her essentially meant working with her on the basics and using those basics in her day-to-day life. Though some things were trickier than others, she was overall a breeze to train: Very food motivated and very eager to please. It was obvious from the start that Asha truly wanted to be a sweet, cuddly, obedient pup. “Bad behavior” was never a real issue with her. No accidents to speak of, very little in the way of inappropriate chewing, she didn’t pull much on the leash, didn't jump on visitors, has never tried to dart out the door… You know, all those things that most dog owners gripe about.

It was the other side of things – teaching her what she could expect from us that really made the difference. Can she depend on us? Yes. Do we provide structure for her? Yes. Can she/does she look to us for guidance if she’s unsure of something? Yes. Asha’s biggest challenge seemed to be of the “waiting for the other shoe to drop” variety. Like, “You guys seem really nice and give me food, but one of you might eventually hit me or toss me back on the streets, so I’m not gonna get 100% comfortable.” Though we will never know exactly what her life was like before we adopted her, it’s pretty safe to say that there was no structure, no dependability. And adding structure and dependability into her life were key to teaching her to trust us and building a bond with her. It's why she really is "even more lovable now for some reason." It's confidence, and it looks good on everybody - even dogs!

Happy Gotcha Day/Well, We'll Just Call This Your Birthday Too, lil' pup. You're awesome. 

Oh. What did we get Asha for her birthday, you ask? 

Why, a brother! Stay tuned: Things are about to get interesting!

Love in Detroit

I've started and deleted too many posts related to the horrible tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. I think it's safe to say that I'm too angry and emotional to really add a whole lot of insight to this conversation. I only wish more people could come to this conclusion, particularly those who can't seem to stop their knee-jerk defensive reaction to defend all things guns. I have cringed so many times in these past few days after reading and hearing things that are (at best) tone-deaf and (at worst) completely cold hearted and off the fucking rails. When I see headlines like, "Post-Newton, Sales Boom for Kids Body Armor," it takes all the strength I have not to just crumple into a ball and cry. This is the America that some people want to live in? I seriously worry that the whole country has gone crazy.

That's why I'm writing about something else instead. Because there's one girl who's brought me joy and comfort during this time, and she knows nothing about those innocent children at Sandy Hook Elementary School. In fact, she's completely oblivious to the horrible things that people do to each other. 

That's because she's a dog.

This is Asha. She's a 35lb pit bull that my girlfriend and I adopted at the end of October. We had just recently started talking about getting a dog around that time. The plan being that we'd start doing some research into different rescue groups, talk about what personality traits, etc. would be a good fit for our family and then in the Spring we'd seriously start the adoption process. That would give us time to finish rehabbing our backyard, doing some repair/renovation projects and "dogproofing" the house so everything would be ready when we got a pup.

But that's not how things work. You can plan and plan all you want, but damn it if life doesn't decide to expedite things sometimes. Occasionally these things are precipitated by a grand event or some sort of "sign." Like witnessing an incredible miracle or a flash of light or something. But sometimes it's just a matter of getting on the elevator at the right time. That's how it was for me.

Leaving work one afternoon to run some errands, a coworker got on the elevator and started talking with his friends about a dog he was trying to find a home for. I was not a part of this conversation, but considering the current "thinking about getting a dog" state of my life I listened to them talk. I distinctly remember thinking, "I wonder what kind of dog he found?" Then the elevator reached the ground floor and we dispersed to our separate lunch hour destinations. 

I happened to arrive back at the office at the exact same time as the "talking about dogs" guys. We then got the same elevator again. They were talking about the dog again. Joe, the one who had the dog, looked at me and said, "Haven't we had this conversation already?" acknowledging the coincidence of our two synchronized elevator encounters. He then said, "Do you want a dog?" I asked him, "What kind of dog is it?" He said, "She's a little, white pit bull." He said his wife had found her wandering the streets of Detroit and that she was very sweet. He explained they couldn't keep her because they already had four dogs. I said to him, "Well, my girlfriend and I are actually looking to adopt a pit bull, but I don't know if we're ready just yet. But in my head I thought, "Oh, shit. We're getting a dog"

I mentioned to Jamie my encounter and expected her to be the cautious, sensible one in this situation. She would, I reminded myself, remind me that we still have all this work to do to prepare, that we're not quite ready yet, that we shouldn't rush... After all, this would be her very first dog as an adult. I had an elderly rescue greyhound when the two of us met, but as incredibly sweet and  kind as Jamie was to her, Emma was still my dog. I was sure Jamie would be able to temper my emotional instincts about this poor little pit bull and bring me back to Earth. But instead I got an immediate response back from Jamie that essentially said, "OMG I wanna see pictures NOW!!"

 This is the picture of Asha that Joe sent me the next day. Despite being a little mangy and grungy, we were pretty much taken. The next weekend she was released from the animal hospital to Joe's care. He, his wife and their granddaughter brought her to our house that day to meet us. She walked into our house with her tail wagging and her sweetness shining through her flaky skin and patchy coat. We knew right away that this was where she was going to stay.

 Watching her heal, grow and come out of her shell over these last few months has been fascinating and affirming. We took her to a trainer (Tammy at Fido Personal Dog Training in Ferndale who I can't recommend highly enough) and she gave us an evaluation of Asha that, while purely speculative since we'll never know her exact background, was far from happy. Asha had likely been used for breeding and was probably forced into at least a couple back-to-back pregnancies in her short life. Apparently tiny pit bulls are "in" right now, and she certainly fits that "mini" or "pocket" pit bull description. Thankfully those days are over for her. She's now about two (two different vets have estimated) and it's time for her to get to be a puppy.  

She's proven to be an exceptionally bright, loving, affectionate and playful girl who makes me happy every single day. Seeing her curled up with my girlfriend or watching them play together is almost more cuteness that I can personally take. Asha is my reminder that happiness and joy are almost impossible to extinguish, no matter how terrible the circumstances. When I start to feel overwhelmed by the terrible sides of human nature, I look down at this little lima bean of a pup, snuggled to my side and contentedly snoring like a fat man and feel a little more centered. A little more ok.

No matter how nuts this season gets for you, take the time to curl up with somebody you love and be thankful for that moment. Happy Holidays, you guys.