Thoughts on Top 40's current hits and hit makers

Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" has been taking the planet by storm for a bit now, but I just heard it for the first time the other day. During a segment on NPR's "All Things Considered." Like there's a nerdier way to be introduced to the most popular song in the world, right? As much as I love music, I'm basically Amish when it comes to exposure to current Top 40 tunes. That's not to say I eschew popular music. As an OCD music fanatic, I consider listening to commercial radio a lazy and passive way to hear stuff. I am too antsy and opinionated to let somebody else call the musical shots in my life. I even hate Pandora.


But my current "Call Me Maybe" obsession got me thinking: I wonder if there are other pop gems on the Billboard Hot 100 that I'm missing out on? Through the beauty of Spotify, I found a playlist of the current crop of hot tunes and listened to them. Though I didn't find anything as great as Ms. Jepsen's song (in fact I couldn't even get through one full listen of many of the songs), I did learn a few things. Here are my observations.

• I hope a friend or therapist has gently suggested to Gotye that, due to his erratic and overly dramatic post-break up behavior, cutting him off was, rather than a mean choice, perhaps a prudent and necessary decision on the part of whoever this song is about.

• Train still exists?

• Even the most upbeat contemporary country hit is, even if loosely or subliminally, musical propaganda for the Tea Party agenda.

• Rihanna's "Birthday Cake" should simply be avoided by anybody who smokes weed. There's not much that can get a stoner off the couch and whip them into a violent frenzy, but even sober listening to her sing, "... cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake..." made me want to smash the front window of a bakery in the middle of the night.

• I cannot hear LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem" and not immediately think of North Korea. This is a prime example of why, despite our many problems, America is a truly great nation.

• I do not have the stomach for the uber-sexified lyrics of today's popular rap songs. I couldn't get through the first 45 seconds of many of them without feeling embarrassed and turning it off.

Now excuse me as I listen to "Call Me Maybe" for the billionth time in two days... I might take a break to watch this again though: