One Year Later: Asha's wonderful (but not mysterious) transformation from sweet-but-timid to sweet-and-confident pup

“Not that I didn’t love Asha pretty much as soon as we got her, but she’s even more lovable now for some reason.”

My girlfriend said this as we were discussing the past year with Asha. Yup. It’s been a year since we let this little pit bull mix into our lives. That sweet-but-timid (roughly) two year old pup is now a sweet-and-confident (roughly) three year old pup. But this transition from timid to confident didn’t just happen with the passing of time. We worked diligently to teach Asha what was expected of her and what she could expect from us, and as she became more comfortable with both of those things, she started to fulfill her pup potential at an alarming rate.

Teaching Asha what was expected of her essentially meant working with her on the basics and using those basics in her day-to-day life. Though some things were trickier than others, she was overall a breeze to train: Very food motivated and very eager to please. It was obvious from the start that Asha truly wanted to be a sweet, cuddly, obedient pup. “Bad behavior” was never a real issue with her. No accidents to speak of, very little in the way of inappropriate chewing, she didn’t pull much on the leash, didn't jump on visitors, has never tried to dart out the door… You know, all those things that most dog owners gripe about.

It was the other side of things – teaching her what she could expect from us that really made the difference. Can she depend on us? Yes. Do we provide structure for her? Yes. Can she/does she look to us for guidance if she’s unsure of something? Yes. Asha’s biggest challenge seemed to be of the “waiting for the other shoe to drop” variety. Like, “You guys seem really nice and give me food, but one of you might eventually hit me or toss me back on the streets, so I’m not gonna get 100% comfortable.” Though we will never know exactly what her life was like before we adopted her, it’s pretty safe to say that there was no structure, no dependability. And adding structure and dependability into her life were key to teaching her to trust us and building a bond with her. It's why she really is "even more lovable now for some reason." It's confidence, and it looks good on everybody - even dogs!

Happy Gotcha Day/Well, We'll Just Call This Your Birthday Too, lil' pup. You're awesome. 

Oh. What did we get Asha for her birthday, you ask? 

Why, a brother! Stay tuned: Things are about to get interesting!

FINALLY. Some math I can UNDERSTAND.

Man, I love Yo La Tengo...

8 Podcasts That Will Make You Smarter/Crazier

I 'm taking a break from my obsessively listening to podcasts to update my blog... about my podcast obsession. 

If there's one thing I can say as an information junkie, the more I know, the crazier I feel. For that reason, I truly understand why so many people choose to "tune out" and remain willfully ignorant: it's just easier to sleep at night. But while you're insulating yourself from all the injustice, political madness, war, crime and devastation of the world, you're also missing out on the good stuff: opportunities to experience the disparate and amazing aspects of our shared humanity. 

We seem to have entered into a period of time in which the erosion of empathy and compassion has left many seemingly unable and unwilling to even try to understand the lives, actions and worth of people different from themselves. We fear the things we don't understand, yet we have little interest in lessening our fear by increasing our understanding. This trend scares the shit out of me.

So that's why I faithfully listen to the following eight podcasts. They're amazing sources of information, exceptionally entertaining and well-produced. Listen to them for yourself.

99% Invisible
When I tell people my favorite podcasts is about design and architecture, I can usually see their eyes glazing over before I even finish the word "architecture." But that's their loss because damn it if every single episode isn't fantastic. This podcast will make you start really noticing and appreciating things in your everyday life you normally take for granted. And since noticing and appreciating things in your everyday life you normally take for granted is probably the key to becoming a better person, this podcast might even change your life.

Life of the Law
A disturbingly large number of U.S. citizens seem content to glean most/all of their criminal justice knowledge from Law & Order reruns. Look: I know that Mariska Hargitay would never lie to you, but she simply doesn't have all the answers. Considering the United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world, you owe it to yourself to be more curious about our country's legal system.  Every episode of Life of the Law is insightful, fascinating and frequently infuriating.

Backstory
Remember how every history class you ever had was taught by some guy who basically phoned it in the whole year because he was only a high school teacher so he could coach sports? How, instead of actually teaching you anything of substance or importance about the Great Depression, he'd pop in a VHS copy of The Grapes of Wrath and you'd try your best to stay awake as the two boys that sat next to you made Beavis and Butthead style quips like, "Heh, heh. Die Okies, die!" whilst carving swastikas into their desks? Well, Backstory exists to turn the old adage "history is boring" totally upside down. This podcast provides historical perspective to current events and effortlessly shows how an understanding of the past is vital to the understanding of the present.

On the Media
I've noticed that the more somebody I know relies on television/cable news to get their information, the less they seem to really know about any given topic. Why is that? Well, On the Media scrutinizes the way media handles given topics in a way that sheds as much light on the ins and outs or journalism as it does the topic at hand. Plus, I have a huge charisma crush on Brooke Gladstone. And yes, my girlfriend knows.

Decode DC
Andrea Seabrook was a congressional correspondant for NPR before leaving to start her own show/podcast. She knows her stuff and does not get marred down in the "Republicans said/Democrats said" bullshit style political "reporting" that passes for news far too often in the world of mainstream news. In other words, she cares about substance. This kind of reporting is too rare to ignore. Start listening.

Snap Judgement
Snap Judgement is the perfect dose of "seeing the world through somebody else's eyes." Each episode features amazing stories from various people from all walks of life. Host Glynn Washington frequently shares stories from his own life as well, and his unabashed enthusiasm is infectious. Sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, always worth hearing. 

Best of the Left
Best of the Left is exactly what the title suggests: A curated collection of the best segments of various left-leaning media sources. If I were to listen to every single one of these original shows in its entirety that would be all I ever had time to do. Plus, I would be dizzy with rage and sadness. 

Radiolab
Radiolab describes itself as "a show about curiosity." Though vague, this is also totally accurate. Once I "discovered" Radiolab, I spent virtually any spare moment I had feverishly working my way through the archives. Each episode felt more incredible than the last. The production on this show is phenomenal, and you're doing yourself a great disservice if you don't dive in as soon as possible. 

Julia Sugarbaker: The Original Riot Grrrl

"Sister, sister where did we go wrong? Tell me what the fuck we're doing here."

This is a clip from the very first episode of the first season of Designing Women. Watch the verbal ass whooping Julia Sugarbaker gives to this presumptuous jerk as he invites himself to join the "lovely ladies" for dinner and drinks. 



That was 1986. So why does it still seem so bold (and relevant) in 2013? Where's today's Julia Sugarbaker?

Bye, bye DOMA.

As we celebrate today, let's spare a warm thought for our opponents, who have lost absolutely nothing. #DOMA
— Dave Holmes (@DaveHolmes) June 26, 2013

Jass Bolger's (false) "struggle"

"I'm hiding the pain of my struggle behind this sincere smile."

According to MLive, "Michigan's House Speaker Jase Bolger says he's 'struggling' with the issue of adding gays to the state's Elliott-Larsen anti-discrimination law which protects citizens in housing, employment, and other areas on religion, race, color, national origin, age, sex, height, weight, familial status or marital status." This is what he had to say on the matter:

“I want to respect gay individuals. I don’t want to send a message as a society that we are intolerant. I think that we need to respect people who are different from us, whether they’re different because they believe differently, whether they’re different because they have different skin color, or whether they’re different because they’re straight or gay."

Wow, Speaker Bolger. If you would have just stopped there. You'd go down in history as a man with the political courage and conviction to do the right thing for the people of Michigan. The man who managed to rise above your party's current obsession with partisan obstructionism. But, no:

"The other side of that equation is I also want to respect people’s religious beliefs. And that’s where the struggle really comes in. I want to respect gay people, I want to respect people who have deeply held religious beliefs. And so legally – as a lawmaker now – you go back and you look at Elliott-Larsen, and it gets very difficult to try to balance those two. And that encapsulates the struggle. The struggle is how do we respect individuals on both sides of this question. I want to respect the individual rights of someone who’s gay. And I also, in doing that, don’t want to force somebody to ignore or violate their religious beliefs.”

Ah, yes. By updating one of the most comprehensive anti-discrimination laws in the country to protect gay people from things like getting fired or kicked out of their apartment for simply being a gay person, you're disrespecting religious freedom. This struggle you're facing! What a conundrum!

The truth is, extending civil protections to gay people does absolutely nothing to infringe on religious liberty. Would legally protecting LGBT people from discrimination make it harder for "deeply religious persons" to perhaps, hide their disdain for homos behind a Jesus shield? Yes it would. But that's a good thing, Jass. That's a good thing.

The number of church leaders, scholars and people of faith who accept the notion that loving gay people and loving Jesus are not mutually exclusive, is growing every single day. Not only that, most came to this conclusion after thoughtful study of Biblical text and deep discussion with their friends, neighbors and pastors. In other words, after struggling with the issue. 

Whereas the "no homo" right-wing Christian crowd is not only dwindling, but causing a substantial number of young people to leave the church and question their faith. Interestingly, this anti-gay interpretation of Christianity is rarely backed up by thoughtful scholarly interpretation of Biblical text. Instead, there's a lot of "feelings" and a willingness to ignore anything that would contradict these "feelings." Which one of these Biblical interpretations is healthier for society and the church itself? The inclusive one that preaches about an all-loving God or the exclusive one that kicks the Boy Scouts out of their church for daring to accept and affirm gay youth? 

I think it's pretty clear. And considering almost three in four Americans believe it’s inevitable that same-sex marriage will be legalized in the United States, your "struggle" with affording gay people basic legal protections seems disingenuous at best and a thwart of the will of the people at worst. You aren't "disrespecting" Christians by amending the Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act. But you are disrespecting yourself and the people of state of Michigan with your political cowardice and extremist pandering. So I guess we all lose. So it is written.

Thank you, Rob Delaney

Most people are familiar with Rob Delaney as “the Twitter comedian,” but as of today he’s one of my comedic heroes. Why is that? Because of his answer to this question posed to him on his Tumblr:

Hey Rob! What do you do if you're at an open mic and the set of someone (or multiple people) before you revolved around unfunny misogynistic bullshit? Do you call them out on it or do you just let it go? What would you recommend? Is there an etiquette for that? I mean, I know it happens a lot, but it's really irritating.

This excerpt from his response is damn near perfect:

... if I were in a setting where that did happen, I would take a breath before I went onstage and I would verbally lacerate the people who came before me and use the skill I’ve honed over the years to make them feel small and bad and to make the women and men who are good and kind to women in the audience feel big and good. And I would be funny doing it. I am of the belief that comedy can be muscular, aggressive, “alpha,” profane, filthy, and - at the exact same moment - as enjoyable to women as it is to men. I’d go so far to say that if something is funny to a group of men and it isn’t funny to a group of women, it isn’t funny. Or it at least isn’t funny enough to be the domain of the professional standup comedian, who better God damn well be funny, as it is our sworn duty to be so. And any idiot troglodyte who disagrees should watch the camera cut away from Pryor or Carlin to women in the audience losing their minds from laughing so hard. Women probably went insane watching those guys, never to collect their marbles again. How great is that?

How great is that? Pretty fucking great. I particularly love his astute observation that “... if something is funny to a group of men and it isn’t funny to a group of women, it isn’t funny. Or it at least isn’t funny enough to be the domain of the professional standup comedian...”

Bingo.

There are an awful lot of “comedians” who seem to conflate being an asshole with being funny. Being an asshole can be funny, but that doesn’t mean every time you say something assholish it’s inherently funny. Can jokes that are rude, sexually/racially charged, gross, shocking etc. be funny? Yes. Yes they can. However, they better be amazing, amazing jokes. The more controversial the material, the higher the bar for said material. If you’re hacking away at lazy, overdone tropes about women, minorities, gay people, etc. that’s lazy and shows a lack of creativity/originality on your part. And if a comedian is on stage doing lazy, uncreative material, the audience has a right to feel ripped off, annoyed and (yes) even offended. Because as Delaney says, it is a comedian's “sworn duty” to be funny.

So work your ass off at being funny and writing really good, original material. And if time and again your purposely offensive jokes aren’t going over well, don’t automatically blame it on the audience and then dismissively say something like, “Well Louis CK has jokes about _____.” Yes. He does. But you are not Louis CK. He’s a guy who absolutely worked his ass off at being funny and writing really good, original material; that’s some hard won, admirable success right there. You’re a guy who does local open mics and asks women in the audience who have no interest in interacting with you about their anal sex habits. These are not the same thing.

Oh, and having an opinion on this issue as a woman apparently means getting a deluge of hateful, misogynistic bullshit thrown at you from every direction. Sadly this does nothing to make these guys better comedians. It just shows how insanely rampant hateful, sexist bullshit is in the world of comedy. There’s a reason Rob Delaney is actually making a career for himself and you’re going up to do yet another 5 minute set of rape jokes at 11:45pm on a Tuesday to a disinterested audience of three. Hint: It’s not because of “politically correct fat cunt bitches who don’t understand comedy.” But sadly, you’re probably going to go to your grave believing that. To paraphrase Patton Oswalt: “You stupid douchenozzle. You truly don't fucking get it, do you? You poor motherfucker. You're gonna miss everything cool and die angry."